Full Moon

I love the moon. For years I would steal outside when the full moon was high in the sky and talk for hours. I did not date until my twenties, so the moon was my lover, my confidant, the all accepting keeper of secrets. All month I looked forward to my date with the man in the moon. If it was cloudy and I could not see the moon... well, let's not get into that....

When I was a teenager I worked as a cna at the local old folks home. We had more deaths and definitely more "weird things" happen on full moon.  My appreciation of the moon began to grow. On average, more babies are born, police calls increase.... the gravitational pull of the moon affects us in unseen ways. Some moons have more pull...This past full moon was a doozy.

I just want to make it very clear that I was watching all the craziness, and while I was affected, there wasn't one thing I could do to change any of it.  Here was my full moon:
1. A tragic death of a preteen that we know and it grieved my mommy heart
2. TWO extended family situations rose to the level of the trendy "EPIC" term
3. I aided one of my clients in dealing with a VERY unprofessional business associate. All in two days.
The residual affects continue...

Times like these make me think about life and people and dynamics, cause/effect and the fact that we can never, ever go BACK.

We have a choice as to how we walk forward. We can choose how we are affected, how we react, where the pain settles and what we are going to do with ourselves in the moment.

All of the situations  this week had emotional and physical ramifications. Big ones. Catastrophic.

The word "Catastrophic" is from the Greek word katastrephein meaning to overturn.
The World Dictionary defines it - (I picked out the two that fit)
catastrophe (kəˈtæstrəfɪ)
— n
1. a sudden, extensive, or notable disaster or misfortune
3. a final decisive event, usually causing a disastrous end

In our culture's attempt to remain positive in every circumstance we rarely talk about personal misfortune and how to navigate forward in the midst.

My last post was on creating new habits, navigating the unfamiliar terrain of change. In trauma we often revert back the familiar. Our comfortable may be miserable, but it is familiar and familiar is soothing at a point of pain. It IS the only way we ever go back. It is the equivalent of the moons gravitational pull, the unseen force creating havoc in a delicate world.

As we create new habits we must also create new coping mechanisms.  They will not create themselves. It is not a natural part of habit building.  We must be intentional to create new ways to get up when we fall. If we only improve our habits, namely actions, and forget our coping, namely reactions, we can undo the done - rapidly. In an instant.

You know the concept, "a true test of a human soul is how it respond in adversity?" 
How do you respond?

Do you go to the pain and let the pain carry you? Or do you control your pain?
Do you go to anger?
Do you have an excessive need to process... with anyone who will listen?
Do you play the victim? or the savior?
Do you try, feverishly, to fix the dilemma?
Do you ignore it and go about life as normal?
What coping mechanisms do you run to?

This week I was able to see a change in myself. Results of many days, years really, of changing my stance on how to respond to hard life situations.  While all the current situations have caused pain, it is not my pain. So I can choose how I respond and how much energy and time I will spend on it.

I am not one to tell anyone how to respond. We are all on our own path to health. But have you thought about your reactions lately? Do you ever stop to wonder why you respond the way you do? What gravitational pull do you have in times of catastrophe?
 I challenge you to take a moment and reflect.

Change is hard. 
But, I know from experience that living in a world that can stand against the gravitational pull of pain is much more satisfying than succumbing.