Modesty - a Quiz

Modesty - in the context of clothing standards
Definition of MODESTY

1

: freedom from conceit or vanity

2

: propriety in dress, speech, or conduct

What does that word mean to you?
Why are you modest?
Are we modest for the men in our life?
For ourselves?
For our beliefs?
Our comfort?
So other women will or will not notice us?
Or judge us?

What is your motivation for modesty?


Where do you get your modesty standards? Why or why not? How do the following categories effect your motivations?
Society.
Beliefs.
Culture.
Fashion.
Weight.
Breast size.
Derriere size. (bottom, rear, rump, heinie, keaster, whatever you call it)
Comfort.
Tradition.
Our Upbringing.
Men in our life.

My questions about modesty clearly state that I come from a culture by location and belief that dictate it is a SUBJECT. So ingrained in my psyche were the have-to and the what-not-to-do's that I never really asked myself these questions until I had girls entering puberty.

I also had a very riveting conversation about this topic with my bestie's this week. We hashed the subject with great gusto and passion.  We are from different backgrounds and have very different personalities. As women, we ALL have strong opinions regarding this subject.


 I would like to hear your thoughts.
And I would like to tell you mine.
I find myself exploring the WHOLE topic.

A. Modesty of dress has a vastly different standard depending on where you are.
Europe enjoys the luxury of topless beaches, communal showers, and body acceptance. It is not unusual to see a billboard depicting a naked or semi naked individual, male or female. The Middle East encourages the burqa for all women. Amish frown on the use of buttons. In fact, depending on where you reside in America there are accepted forms of female modesty. Why does my locale define my clothing choice?
 - Facebook has a few blog posts being shared liberally at the moment that are focusing on swimwear. They are well written, most of them... but are they not from a place of societal standards? In America?


B. Is it our responsibility to keep a man from looking at us? A man is designed to be visual. If I took that away from my husband I would be taking away a part of his biological design. If he ceases to notice a beautiful woman he would be dull in his senses and eventually, by logic, dull to me. If a man notices me (or any woman) is it not his responsibility what he does with it? Noticing does NOT equal lusting... not the last time I checked.
 - Why are we so sensitive? I believe, we have taught men to be jumpy, second guess their motives. Guilt is a powerful tool in the degradation of a society. And is our sensitivity evidence of training, insecurity or fear?
 - If I may digress. I like food. mmmm. I really do. If I am hungry and see and smell a pizza I have a choice whether I am going to partake... right? If I am dieting I will choose not to.... MAYBE... if I am strong and have resolve. If I am not dieting I may take a nibble, possibly have a piece, maybe two. I personally, would never, could never eat the whole pie. My internal responses dictate the outcome of my waistline. It is NOT the pizza's responsibility, nor the persons who made it, to help me make a wise personal choice. And if I smell it, it doesn't necessarily mean I want it. Does it?
 - And since modesty seems to have EVERYTHING to do with the opposite gender:
( I will quote my hubby here as we have had MANY in depth discussions on this subject.) Direct quote: "A woman could be covered from neck to toes in thick fabric, but if she has a "come hither" vibe, a man will notice. That is more powerful than her clothing choice."
 - My husband says that whether he sees a woman's midriff at the beach or not makes little difference. EVERY woman has less clothes on than "normal" but at the beach/pool it is acceptable.... no matter where you fall on the modesty chart.  The fact that a tiny skirt covers the top of her thighs is really inconsequential. If he wanted to look or lust or imagine there is enough skin to do so, regardless.

C. As women we are beautiful by design and we LONG to be beautiful. VERY. ALL the time. In various ways.  I can also say with conviction that we are sexual, sensual beings. Feminine. Soft. Desirous.  We were made to give ourselves to another. If we choose. It is biological. The methods used to attract that person are usually a result of many internal and external factors. The effect our beauty has on another, I would venture to say, has little to do with actual cleavage and EVERYTHING to do with how we view ourselves. Who we are is how we choose to present to the world.


D. Should modesty be a personal choice? A choice based on the fact that we treasure ourselves as a woman? We are all royalty in some fashion. If we reduce modesty to external, societal, religious, fashion appropriateness are we missing a HUGE variable?  Maybe self respect and self choice? Should modesty be based on a choice of personal presentation, standards, responsibility? Essentially, shouldn't it be from a positive "I-can-because-I-trust me" instead of a negative "I can't, I won't, I better not?"
   ~ Perhaps this is a good time to throw in the mix that I grew up with VERY central Pennsylvania strict standards, but on my own have very little inhibitions. Translation: I would not be considered the most modest girl at the party. But I have my standards. And my limits. And my respect for situations, people, etc. When I was in Egypt I wore dresses, long ones, and my head was covered as required.  When I was in South and Central America I wore skirts to church. When I was in Florida .... never mind...


E. Final thought: How much does body proportion factor into modesty?


Notice I have not given you any of my opinions, choices or standards. I have only thrown out questions and topics that are currently making me reconsider why I wear what I wear, where I wear it, how I wear it and what my responsibility is to society as a whole as I do so.

Thoughts?