A WAL-Mart coma

I try to never rarely go to Wal-mart.
Wal-mart is miserable on a normal day, but on a Saturday it is hellacious. Maneuvering the aisle is akin to a traffic jam in Manhattan during rush hour. Of course, though, the only time I ever go is Saturday. I really should plan better. But I avoid it, telling myself that I don't really need to go. And then all of a sudden I wake up early and realize that the toilet needs a new thingy and I need dish rags, the kids are having a sleepover this weekend and they need tostitos and I only have two hours. 

Who doesn't know that Wal-mart royally fails in the area of customer service? No one goes to Wal-mart for the shopping ambiance. We go for convenience. On a long day with a long list, Wal-mart is the one stop shop for toilet paper, nail polish,  and grease to lube the squeaky wheel on the wagon. Annoyed shoppers rub shoulders with those who love the deals and fried food deli. There are people, I believe, who use Wal-mart like I use my roadside market; as a comfort, a constant, a breathable part of life. Those individuals/families are clearly evident. The pajama pants and slippers give it away.  (If you don't believe me, peopleofwalmart.com will convince you.)

Wal-mart makes me feel like I have ADD no ADHD. I rush. I hurry. I hear a thumping in my brain that I can never identify. Is it my carts broken wheel? Someones phone ringing? Or is it the tinny sound coming from speakers high on the ceiling? I rush down the aisle, wheels careening, on high alert ready to stop short if the old biddy in front of me does. I grab what I need, throw it in my cart. It is a mission, a destination. I get only what is on my list, wade through the throngs of people and exit as fast as possible. I time it. Consistently, I stand in line longer, most times double, than the amount of time I am in the store. I read People and US and the other smut headlines getting my fill of Hollywood gossip long before I reach the cashier. Upon my exit I feel like I do after a sugar high... tired, worn out and mentally exhausted.


The places I like to shop provide my psyche with a reprieve. I may have a list and I may have a time limit but I can enjoy the whole experience. I hear music soothing my soul. I smile at a fellow shopper as I briefly pause to smell a new scent. My basket is full of the items I desire and a few more (most likely). I meander to the register and wait exactly 2.8 minutes for a friendly employee to look me in the eye and say, " did you find everything you needed today, ma'am?" I leave feeling rested and in full control of my senses.  

 I determine that as often as I can, I will shop local. I will keep a list in my vehicle and be proactive in my purchases. I wll not wait until the last minute to buy windshieldwiper fluid. I seek to enjoy all my shopping experiences.    Let it be so!