Sisters

I have had my first fight with a sister over a man. This is how the tale goes.... from my perspective, of course.

Once upon a time big sister Angel had a new job. At that job was a quiet yet strong man who was single. Not by choice. He, in a very not desperate way, had never found the right one. Growing up with out a mom, he has a sweet insecurity that almost feels sensitive. A man who recognizes the need for a woman in his life. He can lead, is playful, in touch with his emotions, he knows how to talk and when to listen. Instantly I liked him. Instantly I thought my sister Krystal and him would get along.

And so it began. Over Facebook, slowly a wall post progressed to a message. The waters were tested and he expressed a desire to speak on the phone. Big sis does not know this history. In a brief end to a long work related conversation He mentions that Krys has overlooked this request. I laughed and pulled out my phone, confident that is was not deliberate on her part.

It was.

Three conversations and many hot words later I have a sour stomach. The strange element to this story is that she is not mad at me. She is mad at him. Apparently, in her world, full of baggage from a life of being a doormat, hurtful relationships, the most recent one having been severely boundary crossing she is accusing nice man from sisters work of being manipulative and cowardly. No matter what I say HE is wrong, HE needs to explain himself, HE needs to respond to her curt email appropriately.

I normally do not mind being wrong. I welcome others views and enjoy expanding my horizons. But in this I am right. What I did was wrong. Check. I wish she would see that. Also, her reaction was severely disproportionate. No man should have to deal with that amount of pain caused by another man. Man from sis's work is fighting another mans battle. So unfair. Her need for boundaries has been reduced to game playing. How can he play by a rule book written only in her head?

I am stuck with the job of damage control. My alliance should be with my sister. I should stand with her and take her side. I cannot. I find myself sad that HE must be subjected to a woman who is attempting to control her whole life to avoid being hurt, disregarded, taken advantage of.

I will swallow, Apologize to nice co-worker and walk away.

"Sisters, sisters, there were never more devoted sisters."