I crawled back into bed this morning

The last few days have been a whirlwind. I over scheduled.  Drastically. So today I slept in.  Well, not really, I laid in bed awake for hours after Isaac left at the ungodly hour of 4am for a traffic study. Well, not hours, an hour. The girls wake at five and I am usually tapped for clothes opinion, hair or makeup advice, or to borrow one of my shirts (“sure, babe, no problem” is what I say… “WOW, I still got it!! You can borrow mommas clothes ANYTIME you want.” is what I think) They leave at 630, the exact time the boys emerge sleepily rubbing their eyes.  Needing simultaneously snuggled and hurried, we have perfected mornings to a science. Today, however, they snuggled extra long as the morning was extra cold and somehow wrangled eggs-in-a-nest for breakfast. Let’s be honest… I don’t usually do anything more complex than toasting an English muffin on a school morning.

I have a to-do list 14 items long for today, each item taking 20 min to two hours. I was excited and motivated to get started. I waved goodbye to the boys, saw my fuzzy teeth and crazy hair in the mirror and decided I should probably get out of my bathrobe. I went upstairs and my morning ADD set in, laundry, wiping down the bathroom sink, sighing at the state of the girls room and closing their door, and finally making my bed. But, somehow I ended up IN that bed. “Just for a minute.” 

90 to be exact.

So now I am up and bright. Ready for the day. But first, before my list gets attacked, I need to write.  I have to. It's my daily practice this month. 

See,

This year my word isRITUAL. Ick, I know. It’s dry and tedious sounding and not at all fantastic.  Like my friends words, they have amazing words like JOY and YES and INSPIRE, PRESS ON and LOVE ( MYSELF and thus OTHERS). I kicked and screamed about it for the first 10 days of the year. I could, Isaac was still on vacation and it was easy to be productive externally and ignore inner workings.  

But, I have to admit it…. Ritual is my word. Time to reintroduce ritual into my life. In the distant past I had an unhealthy relationship with ritual and discipline. Over time I have mellowed and of recent years (try 9) I have actually eschewed rituals of any kind. I would suck my teeth at the prospect. I learned to find my rhythm and allow my life to be full of life and vitality. We began to live by our values, not out of compulsion, but out of choice. 

rit·u·al

ˈriCH(əw)əl/

noun

1. 1.

   a religious or solemn ceremony consisting of a series of actions performed according to a prescribed order.

   "the ancient rituals of Christian worship"

adjective

1. 1.

   of, relating to, or done as a religious or solemn rite.
2. 
   

But, there is something missing in my life. I must admit it. There is something powerful, magical about routine and consistency. Perseverance in the mundane, training heart and brain. Spiritually filling. 

So this year I will introduce one ritual a month for the next 12 months. I am not trying to fix anything. And I am not adopting any new or strange behaviors, which I know is a highly subjective statement. I am taking those parts of me, our life, that bring me LIFE and I am absorbing them into everyday practice. The nerd in me looks forward to the statistical increase I will find 12 months from now. But, I am trying not to get ahead of myself.

This past year I was able to experience rest and self –care. I now know truly the essential value of cushions in my life; emotionally, spiritually, physically.  The concept of daily rituals is making me have irrational fears that I will not experience the comfort of those cushions. Fear does that. Twists my words and lies to me.  

It was hard, actually, to pull together the list. But once I decided on perimeters, it became fun.

1.     Focus on actions that are able to be done in daily practice

2.     Focus on items that are not time intensive

3.     Focus on areas that have already brought value to my life

4.     Focus on areas that are not dependent on others actions

 On my schedule are items like talk to 5 strangers a week, adjust my sleep to a more predictable and healthy schedule, meditation, exercise that will push me towards my goals for turning 40 (six pack abs and run a FULL marathon), clean living, gratefulness. Easy peasy, nice and easy, right?

How I imagine I will look at mile 14

I am expecting a battle between me, myself, and I. The body is willing but the MIND is weak. I am a mood person, an “energy of the day” person. While there is time and place for all of that, I am ready to ascend to the next level of enlightenment. tee-hee

Here are some guiding principals I am using to keep me on track:

1.    Intention in the morning and the evening
2.   I am enough of an audience
3.   Perfection is not the goal
1. Guilt free zone
4. Lighthearted approach
1. Plentiful laughter

 (Prayers Appreciated)