Every woman longs to be beautiful.
I believe that in my CORE.
In our own way aren't we all in a constant quest to define ourselves; to be beautiful at every level?
I love that we not only have the ability to purchase any beauty product, attire or service, but also unlimited access to tutorials, photos, and blogs that expand our cache of knowledge and product.
I don't always embrace my unique beauty. I hide. I cover myself, trying to mask my flaws. Flannel shirts were the rage when I was in high-school... I wore them well. I do believe, though, that my hiding my flaws began at a much earlier age.
For me my hiding was not birthed in how I felt about how I looked. My feeling on my beauty was a result of life. It was one of the after affects of a life of never feeling good enough. Always pushing for better, greater, never pleasing myself (or anone else).
I wish I felt beautiful every day. I used to wonder how I would approach life differently if I enjoyed, 100%, what I viewed in the mirror. Would my choices change? Would I treat people differently? Would I smile more? What do I do in my life that is an attempt to hide how I feel about my looks? What behaviors have I adopted to cope?
Life dealt me an interesting hand. I have done well in some ways and not in others. Coping mechanisms are always a double edge sword.
_________________________________
One amazing thing is that I have a husband who thinks I hung the moon. Every day, through our good times and our bad, he has professed his complete attraction to every part of me. Slowly I have begun to accept myself. And sometimes, more and more often, I look in the mirror and actually like what I see. All of it. Flaws and all.
My acceptance of my beauty has been slow. And I am not silly enough to compare myself to symmetrical beauty or even girl-next-door. I am not beautiful in any traditional way. But I am beautiful. In my own way. I now see the many layers of personal beauty. It is easy for me to see it in others.... not so easy in myself.
Because beauty has been such a tangible journey, sometimes battle, for me I find that I have become acutely aware of the female process. I find that I research, immersing myself in the industry. I follow fashion blogs, I know whats new and who's who. I know how to apply make-up and all about the difference between warm and cool hair color. I observe the females around me in their process, learning from them. I do not apply what I know often, my confidence is still not there. (coming from a conservative area helps excuse my Laissez-faire attitude)
With each passing day I am aware of how I am changing and embracing. Thawing. Accepting. Smiling. My choices are changing. My life is expanding.
And I am ready to step into more. More me. More beauty. More Life. And to try out some of the fun that I have researched for so very long.
In our own way aren't we all in a constant quest to define ourselves; to be beautiful at every level?
I love that we not only have the ability to purchase any beauty product, attire or service, but also unlimited access to tutorials, photos, and blogs that expand our cache of knowledge and product.
I don't always embrace my unique beauty. I hide. I cover myself, trying to mask my flaws. Flannel shirts were the rage when I was in high-school... I wore them well. I do believe, though, that my hiding my flaws began at a much earlier age.
For me my hiding was not birthed in how I felt about how I looked. My feeling on my beauty was a result of life. It was one of the after affects of a life of never feeling good enough. Always pushing for better, greater, never pleasing myself (or anone else).
I wish I felt beautiful every day. I used to wonder how I would approach life differently if I enjoyed, 100%, what I viewed in the mirror. Would my choices change? Would I treat people differently? Would I smile more? What do I do in my life that is an attempt to hide how I feel about my looks? What behaviors have I adopted to cope?
Life dealt me an interesting hand. I have done well in some ways and not in others. Coping mechanisms are always a double edge sword.
_________________________________
One amazing thing is that I have a husband who thinks I hung the moon. Every day, through our good times and our bad, he has professed his complete attraction to every part of me. Slowly I have begun to accept myself. And sometimes, more and more often, I look in the mirror and actually like what I see. All of it. Flaws and all.
My acceptance of my beauty has been slow. And I am not silly enough to compare myself to symmetrical beauty or even girl-next-door. I am not beautiful in any traditional way. But I am beautiful. In my own way. I now see the many layers of personal beauty. It is easy for me to see it in others.... not so easy in myself.
With each passing day I am aware of how I am changing and embracing. Thawing. Accepting. Smiling. My choices are changing. My life is expanding.
And I am ready to step into more. More me. More beauty. More Life. And to try out some of the fun that I have researched for so very long.
You. My fine specimen, are a vivid woman. Vivid. And for that, I thank you. I love you. Beauty apparantly, becomes you. It becomes you more and more as every day, month & year passes by. You are...beauty.
ReplyDelete