super sensor

I am a super sensor. Really.

 I smell. Everything. Like a bloodhound, I am.  I can tell you by smell what spices create aroma in almost any dish. I can locate a specific smell at the fair. I notice when someone changes their signature perfume.  Bad smells bother me. My house never ever smells good to me, I smell all the layers of dust and morning breath, cleaning solutions and wafts of lingering food. Scents for such purposes are too strong an induce a headache..... I am on a constant search for the perfect home scent.

 I hear well. Not the whisper hearing well, the loud noises, chaos, differentiating between individual sounds hear well. Layers and tones.  I like music but only at certain times. And for short periods. See if too much activity is going on music is one more detail for me to filter.... and it is usually the easiest to quiet.

I see above average.  Each year, my Optometrist says my eyesight gets better - hah. I notice motion, action, colors and textures. An over developed keen sense for the obvious plagues my existence.

Touch. The healthier I am, the more sensitive my nerve endings are. As I mature I continue to seek health... and with health comes an increased ability to experience touch. Some touch causes actual pain. Like massages..... oh my, NO. I will pass every time. I like touch, but I tend to avoid it. For obvious reasons.

I love food. MMMmmmm. The flavors. OHHHHHH. Yeah. Flavors must combine to hit every part of my tongue. There is a point, delicately positioned in the back of my mouth that must be fully engaged for me to truly truly partake of pallet stimulating fare. So I primarily eat to survive... or out of boredom or stress... you know typical American eating habits.

Acute memory is another element I take for granted. Not only do I rememeber words, but facial expressions, emotion, voice inflections, positions and ODD random facts. Compulsively, I have a need to speak out my memories... why do I do that????  If you know me you know this phrase well," I know someone who....." I can relate the present to the past in a myriad of annoying ways..... 

And I have a bit of a 6th sense. Developed and developing. Keen-ness.  Discernment. I have had dreams that have come true. Seriously. To validate that disturbing fact: When I was 15 I had a dream that a hotel burned. I knew where it was, how it burned, the extent of injures and the structural appearance after.  A few weeks later as I was being driven to my summer job at camp we passed the hotel from my dream. I told my family in great detail about the dream. Three weeks into my job my mom made a surprise visit to camp to tell me that the hotel burned... exactly the way I described. She was weirded out. I shrugged. By then I had come to expect such things.  The older I become the more weirded out I am at myself.

Some call my tendencies hyper vigilance. I call it crazy. As a teenager I was diagnosed with fibromyalgae.... through the process of managing the disorder I learned to recognize my acuteness and my internalization of EVERYTHING. Incredibly 4 years after diagnosis I was declared cured.... And so began my journey of recognition and compartmentalization of my super senses.

At almost 35, I am now at a point where I can embrace the fact that I am different. I cease to attempt to fit in, I see the benefit of my uniqueness and I am now on a quest to develop and embrace the idiosyncrasies I have worked so hard to manage and subdue. 

                                    There is Nothing to fear but fear itself, right?