In an instant

I'd like to share one of my motto's:

Everything big can be broken down into simple steps, followed through, and accomplished.

I tell myself that almost daily. It really simplifies life and gives me the chutzpah (2. audacity; nerve, Urban Dictionary definition) to accomplish anything I set my mind to.
Please understand that I am not attempting brain surgery. But I am sure that  doctor uses this same concept. Nor am I blowing up rocks on Mars, but I bet the scientists use the same basic philosophy. Nothing large was ever done without starting small.

I had that concept challenged in church this week.

I do not often talk about messages that I hear at church. No offense, but they are usually basic reminders. Nothing earth shattering, nor growth producing. I grew up in the church, know my scriptures VERY well. I know theory, typologies, timelines, prophets, kings, various interpretations of various scripture passages, old covenant, new covenant, fruit of the spirit, spiritual gifts, on and on. My father has a divinity degree, was in ministry my whole life, and we were schooled completely. I have traveled; seeing the good, bad and ugly of religion. Recognition that there are a myriad of ways to serve, learn and grow has been part of my fiber for a very long time. For me, church is not where I seek growth. Church is only a part of my worship, a gathering together to celebrate and publicly acknowledge my faith. My church, really, has no walls.


I find that I GROW (in no particular order)
1. in my own times of study
2. With Isaac as we study and pray, read and plan
3. With "my girls" - two friends who sharpen my iron and let me sharpen theirs. We cry, yell, preach to the choir, expound, research, pray, laugh and traverse this life  together.

Sunday my perspective changed.   This message was not a step by step, break it down for success sermon. It was a not a reminder. It was not a guilt trip or a sermon with a well disguised condemnation undertone.  While the speaker was engaging, he was far from a great orator.  He spoke truth. It was life. And it was real.

And I got on my face.

I have strayed from my first love. I have become a pharisee. I know the truth. The truth sets you free, right?  Unless it is worn as a garment instead of infused in breath and bone.
The message was so timely for me, as I have realized recently just how much I have changed from my original purpose. There was a missing link.  And I was applying my system of small steps. But it still felt off.
I had forgotten about my first love.

		Life happens. Scars appear. Goals present. Victories motivate. Details emerge. Time shortens.

Passion for Christ fades into method.
Urban dictionary defines Passion:

1.Passion is when you put more energy into something than is required to do it. It is more than just enthusiasm or excitement, passion is ambition that is materialized into action to put as much heart, mind body and soul into something as is possible.

Stand-out enthusiasm has morphed into adult appropriate maturity, as defined by cultural standards. I have ceased to JUMP in and have instead become systematic, step by step, logical. I have applied my Motto into my faith. And I became the savior of my own life.

Religion is self help. Faith is not.

Normal is no longer normal.
In an instant, I returned to my first love. And passion. And growth. Love and inhibition welled up from deep with in.

No method, no logic, no worry about people, culture, etc. Only faith and me and a narrow road.

This is truly simple... this is home.